I hate you
by Citalali
Summary: After a horrible argument Dan tries to get Phil back. ! Happy End ! One shot


"I hate you"  
>Nearly all day Dan was starring at this message on his phone. Today, yesterday, the day before yesterday, nearly a week ago he received that message, after he left their flat, Phil's Flat he corrected in his head. They started arguing about a silly thing, Dan wanted to eat pizza for dinner, Phil wanted pasta. Then they started screaming, screaming horrible things, things they would have never said, things that weren't even real. It wasn't even because of the argument, it was because both of them were tired, so tired. Phil recently lost his mom and Dan's family don't want to see him again after he came out to them. They screamed lies, so many lies. Dan said that he never loved Phil, that he has only used him, after that Phil don't screamed. The only thing Phil has done was saying that Dan should left, that he never wanted to see him again.<br>Dan starts to cry, a wonder that he has tears left, he cried the hole week. He regrets it, oh he regrets it so much. But Phil hates him yet, he doesn't want to see him again. He tried to write him a message, but nothing would apologise what he has done. As he left the flat, he don't realised that he still had Phil's shirt, but yet he has it on the fifth day in the row, even though it doesn't smell like Phil anymore it helps, not much, he still feels so horrible, but a little bit. He doesn't know what to do, Phil is his life, was. He wants to go to Phil, he wants to hug him, kiss him, tell him that he loves him, tell him that he is the best person he could ever dream of. But he can't, after all the things that happened he can't. But he has hope, he stares at his phone, he blocked everyone except Phil, maybe Phil will phone him. But his hope fades every second. Phil isn't phoning. And that is killing Dan from inside. Only Phil knows that Dan used to self harm before he met Phil. He started again, his arms are covered in red lines and old scars, he can't stop. It's all his fault. He said what he said and it was a lie and he regrets it but he can't turn the time back.  
>Something gets in his mind, a silly thought. Maybe he can get Phil back, if he tries, if he shows him how much he loves him. But what should he do? What would show Phil that he loves him so much?<br>A hour later he has thought of something that might function. But first he has to get him self considerable. So he showers, puts on a black shirt and black jeans, straightens his hair and brushes his teeth. He walks out of the hotel room he is currently staying in and goes to nearest supermarket, he has to buy something for his plan. It's so hard for him to not cry the hole time, but he stays strong. Yet comes the hardest part, he has to go to, their, Phil's flat. Every step is like he would walk in sand, every breath is like breathing fire. He is so feared of that how Phil will react, he is so feared of his own reaction. As Phil's flat comes in visibility Dan is shaking, tears are running down his face and he feels so cold from inside. The stairs are the hardest thing and the way to the door is like the way to hell. He tries to open the door with his key, it doesn't work, it seems that Phil has changed the lock. That will make it allot harder. He tries to ring the doorbell, he can't. He can't bring himself to ring the door. It's so hard, but after a few minutes he rings, and then he waits. It feels like several hours, days, months, years, he waits so long. Everything in him screams to run away, but in the same time he can't move, he can't breath. He just stands there feared to hell. He hears something behind the door, slow steps, that's kind of strange, normally Phil is like him and hates slow walking people. The door opens slowly, Phil looks horrible, Dan looks probably like that too. Phil looks tired, tear marks on his cheeks, and his eyes look so sad. When Phil notices that it is Dan he tries to close the door. "Wait, please" that's the only thing Dan can say. Phil stops shutting the door and looks Dan in the eyes. Dan sees everything in Phil's eyes, sadness, blame, everything. Dan tries to say something, his mouth open, but he can't. He tries again: "can we go in? I want to talk, I understand when you hate me, and never want to talk to me again, but I bet you to listen to me, just this only time, please." Phil looks at him, thinks. Dan shakes, tries to stand straight, it's so hard. Phil steps back, making place for Dan to come in. Suddenly Dan feels more confident, he feels stronger, he knows what to say, he doesn't knows where it comes from. They stay in the hallway.  
>"Phillip Michael Lester, You have all the rights to hate me, to never want to see me again, but I want to ask you for another chance, I know that I don't deserve one. I am here to say that I am the most awful human beeing, I lied. I want you to know that I lied, every word I said that night was a lie. I love you, I love you so much. And I know that Love is just a shout in the void and that oblivion is inventiable, and I know that I love you. I can't say it often enough, I love you. I hate myself for saying what I said. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I can't live without you. You are much to good for me. You are sweet and kind. I am just nothing. Every second without you is a horrible second. Every day without you is the worst day ever. I need you so much. And I love you. Phil, There is nothing I could ask you more that to take me back, to forgive me. Please forgive me . I was a dork. My nightmares are about loosing you, my worst fear is loosing you, and that happened, I don't want to live without you. I Love you, Phillip Michael Lester, I love you so much"<br>Phil just stares at him, his sight expressionless. Dan pulls something out of his pocket, tears falling down his cheeks. He reaches for Phil's Hand, and places the thing in there, closing Phil's hand. Phil opens his hand, looking unbeliving at the little lion toy. It is the same Dan has given him when they started dating. In this moment Phil starts crying too and falls into Dan's arms.  
>"Of course I forgive you. You silly boy. I love you too. You are my one and only, I couldn't live without you" whispers Phil into Dan's ear.<br>Both are sobbing into each others shirts, both are unbelievable lucky.  
>"Never ever leave me again, please" says Phil looking at Dan.<br>"I will stay at your side forever" Dan whispers with so much seriousness and Love in his eyes that it hurts.  
>"Okay" Phil answers still sobbing.<br>"Okay"


End file.
